Friday, December 19, 2008

Common Walk to Work



So I exit my bed, after the alarm goes off a 2nd and 3rd time
I eat a leftover slice of pizza, and a bowl of oatmeal
Raisens and Spice to be exact
Pretty aweful, but not as bad as Peaches n Creme
But alas

I check my email, go on MSN to make sure a coworker is at the office
Jeff, ruining my plans of staying home
Just kidding
I'm a valued employee

I exit my house
Porch, snow
Front yard, mound of snow
My car, somewhere in the middle
Up the road, a truck struggling to move as it's stuck in the middle of the road

I go into my house and produce gloves for myself
My good gloves are still wet from John's taboozening adventure a few days earlier
So I go with my hobo gloves
Ya know, the ones that are mittens AND gloves via velcro and love(velcro = love)
I go outside, a neighbour is already helping the guy
But no, I already have the damn gloves, I'm being a good person
I get to the staircase of my porch, it has become a slope of snow
I know stairs exist, and gaps of not solid ground are in front of me
But no.
A life decision must be made
You must defy all odds Jason
You must walk down...
THE STAIRS OF APPARENT SNOW COVERED DEATH(TM)!!!!?!

And so I did
Anticlamically

It's when the level of snow increased by my car that things got interesting
I walk Mission Impossible style along my car, grasping for stability
Knee deep in snow
Motherfuck
I get to the street, wipe off snow, and I'm on my final mission

I Get to the stuck man's car
I needed something to break the ice, so that I'm not just pushing on some random dude's car
(imagine if people actually did that?)
(Hello friend! Nice to meet you! *pushes car with a smile*)
(Anyways)
So I say "Gotta love the snow eh?"

I don't know why I chose to ask that question
Obviously he did not love the snow
In fact, he was likely quite furious at the snow
And thus, he was likely quite furious with me for saying that
Come on Jason, pull it together!

So as a good cemeritan and an engineer, I use my trusty steel toed boot to help
And I wipe the snow from in front of his tires
Making a nice slope to drive on up onto
And make it safely onto the tire grooves that will lead him to safety
Me and Neighbour1 proceed to create a cantilever with our bodies and apply a force parelle to the accelation, and also perpendicular to the plane of action
Erm
We pushed
Hard
I guess that's what I was trying to say there..

We pushed for a couple minutes
At one point Neighbour1 turned to speak to me
"I hope we don't gotta push this thing all the way to Wyandotte"
I lawled inside
But outside it was a "heh"
People can't know when I find them funny
How else will I enslave them for world domination?
I know right
It wouldn't make sense any other way

So the car's unstuck, and I see it drive up the road to where another car is currently stuck
I think to myself"
Maybe I should walk the other way to school..."
(note: I also thought this befor I got my gloves originally)
(note2: I'm a good person)

I continue walking towards them
I take a moment to acknowledge two quite infamous houses on my street
a) Jesus Gnome Aquarium House
b) Christmas Vomit House

Case Study A
I believe it was early November
They built a setting in the front yard
I presumed it was a Nativity Scene or whatever the Jesus birth thing is
But, they had put garden gnomes in there ...
It looked like they had Santa hats, but I don’t think that gives off the right impression
Eventually it became a Jesus birth scene
I assume they executed the gnomes

Case Study B
This fucking house has too many of those aweful inflatable Christmas decorations
AND They hate children
How do I know this?
Their front yard consists of 7 Santas
THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT
There is only one Santa
And he's not that pedo in the mall
Assholes
Way to confuse kids
And one looks like a reindeer is giving birth to Santa (see opening image)
Right out of his brick patterned vagina

Anyways, back to the story
I’m walking to the end of the block
The car backed back to the start of the street
The truck maneuvered onto Wyandotte
I almost beat him walking to the end of the block
I walk past one of the owners of the Christmas Vomit house
A local Chinese restaurant owner has a snow plow for his sidewalk
GOD FORBID he’d do any other sidewalk
Or part of the snow plagued road
I mean, a machine to move snow quickly
Let’s only use it minimally since they are practical and of abundance
-_-

I start walking on Wyandotte
I usually reflect during this 10-15 minute walk
I was humming an Against Me song to myself
Thinking philosophically;
Me/Amy/Aaron watched the end to this anime Evangelion the other day
It’s a very philosophical ending
Makes you think about why you exist and what’s around you
Pretty much it makes everything your decision, even reality
And in that sense you could question what reality is
But there’s no morality into question, which I enjoy
That’s why Nietzsche is so dumb
I think his theory of creating your own set of morals is fine
But he’s just so bitter about it that you know he’s just trying to justify his own life
And so, his philosophy just seems so subjective
But alas, most things are
But alas, back to my point

I was thinking about myself
With respect to people
And with respect to my place in my life right now
For the longest time I had felt like I myself didn’t belong where I was
But now I’m sort of numb to it
I believe that I should be where I am, right now
I don’t know how long
But I’ll know when it’s time to go
I’ve figured that much out

Then I was thinking about which people fit into my life right now
I’ve been getting the feeling from some people that they come off as being temporary to me
Example?

I’ve been looking forward to Adam returning
I don’t know why
We never really got close till the end of this summer
And we don’t talk all that often
But he just feels like a person that I’d want around
Loyal, interesting, likeminded
There’s so much in common
But also so much we can learn and teach to each other
He’s someone I can see that fits in my life

People who seem temporary
I feel bad for saying it cause I do (or did) see them as friends
But Abby and Josh feel very temporary to my life
Abby moreso than Josh
Josh is loyal and I could see him one day becoming a part of my life again
But right now it seems like he’s thinking too much like Abby
And Abby does not fit
I’ve been making an effort to force myself to think she does
But she hasn’t for a while
Not since she started be friends with… well ya know
I even went to her jazz ensemble
But it feels like our friendship is just going through the motions
The Josh think might be more due to how he doesn’t fit in with band
And we’re all presuming she’ll leave when we ask him to
So I dunno

That’s another topic
Band seems like it belongs
But whenever I think of something permanent or in the future I think out of this area
If only you could reach you dreams and bring things with you heh
I dunno

I’ve just been thinking a lot of personal worth
And of meaningfulness in my life
And the lives of others!S
o friends (aka both of you LAWL)
Think about it
Who do you feel belongs?
You two do to me
Hense me updating for just you

1 comment:

SoniaBlade said...

this is a reason why you should blog more often.
I LOLED all over the placed